Заебись.
Уже три дня с ненавистью и отвращением занимаюсь
подготовкой каких-то бумаг на грант. Грантов здесь
целая Жоппа, и если бы я не ленился, то давно
бы уже был богатым человеком. Хочу секретаря
референта. В миниюбке, please. И пусть она
занимается подачей бумаг. А я буду платить
ей половину денег и трогать ее за Зад. Любя,
конечно.

Мне не жалко.

Самое омерзительное, что все формы у этих блядей в Ворде,
поэтому приходится периодически перезагружать машину в Виндоз
и их заполнять и распечатывать.

К заявлению полагается прилагать "диаграмматик план",
в форме "PERT or Gantt chart". Я про такие вещи даже и
не слыхал, оказалось, что это хуйня, изобретенная
Микрософтом или каким-то таким же педерастом
для удобства составления бизнес-планов.

Главное мне надо его на 5 лет составить, а я не
знаю, что за науку буду через 2 месяца копать,
оно типа приносится восточным ветром. То есть
лажа совершенно неописуемая.

При попытке найти на сети софт, который эти вонючие
diagrammatic plans составляет, вылезает исключительно
хуйня в духе

http://www.kjartan.org/humor/religion/genesis.txt

In the Beginning the Project Manager created the Programming Staff.
The Programming Staff was without form and structure.
And the Project Manager said, "Let there be Organization;"
And there was Organization.
And the Project Manager saw that Organization was good;
And the Project Manager separated the workers from the supervisors,
and he called the Supervisors "Management," and he called the workers "Exempt."

...

And the Project Manager said unto the Chief Programmer, "Create for me
a schedule, so that I may look upon the schedule and know the Due Date."
And the Chief Programmer went among his staff and consulted with them.
And the staff was divided into two parts, one part called "Analysts"
and the other part called "Application Programmers."
And the Analysts went back to their desks and estimated, as was their custom.
And it came to pass that each Analyst brought his estimate to
the Chief Programmer, whereupon he collected them, summarized them,
and drew a PERT CHART.


и вот

http://www.cs.caltech.edu/~adam/LIFE/fun5.nsmail


Alice pasted the sticky paper to her dress and headed down the hall. Not
10 feet ahead she saw a rather distressed looking rabbit coming toward
her. He was dressed in a pair of torn, faded jeans, and a dirty tee
shirt.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked.

"I'm late! I'm late!" exclaimed the rabbit as he peered at the pert chart
dangling from his pocket protector.

"Late for what?" asked Alice.

"My date. I'm going to miss my date. I've got a deadline to meet and
I'm not going to make it."

...

"Oh," said Alice, "you figure out what products to build!"

"Heavens, no!" exclaimed the Queen, "That's too tactical. We feel its our
job to develop the vision for the long term."

"You develop things," began Alice, "so you build the products?"

In unison each member of the table made a face reminiscent of the look a
small child gets upon tasting spoiled dead roaches for the first time.

"Uggggh, that's even more tactical," jeered the chorus.

"No! No!" shouted the Queen. "You still do not understand. We take the
pulse of the key market leaders demand curve."

"I see now." said Alice, "You sell the products."

By now the chorus of cards chanting "Tac-ti-cal! Tac-ti-cal!" was
becoming too much.

The queen was furious and repeated her original greeting. "Off with her
head! Off With her head"

"WAIT!" demanded Alice. "I believe I understand. You are all responsible
for driving the solution opportunities for the key client supply
perceptions through strategic vision management!"

"Yes," screamed the cards, "That's exactly right!"


Вот так и живем.

Пиздец
Миша.