From:         Zosq Panikovskaq 
Date:         1996/07/10
Organization: mutual admiration society
Newsgroups:   soc.culture.russian,soc.culture.soviet

In our never ending philantropic efforts to educate the unsuspecting public, 
we, spurred by the multiple requests for the same, are proud to bring the 
following long-lost document to the attention of the demanding and 
sophisticated reader.         - Committee for Usenet FAQs


                        USENET FORGERY FAQ

                                "Kuj zhelezo ne otxodq ot kassy"
                                        Narodnaq mudrost'

Q.      What does "forged" mean?
A.      Come on, nobody can be that stupid!

Q.      No, really, what does it mean?
A:      It has too meanings:       a. to move ahead slowly and
                                   2. to form by hitting
                                   iii. a hot spot

Q.      I think. But what does it have to do with the newsgroups?
A.      Absolutely nothing.

Q.      Then how do they forge articles?
A.      Who is "they" ? Do you mean certain recent immigrants 
        who misuse them?  Like "a dandruff" or "smell like cow"? 

Q.      Hmmm... You are losing me.        
A.      Like when you mean an undefined object and
        use 'the' or 'the', or even worse when everybody knows exactly
        to what you are referring and you use an 'a' or an 'an'.
        There is many other techniques, two (to).  But this is a right
        place to ask this kind of questions.

Q.      Yes, I mean how a people forge the posts?
A.      Nobody forge posts, afaik.

Q.      I hate these abbreviations, btw, where do I complain?
A.      Complain to the Internet.

Q.      OK, so what happens when I e-mail something and it bounces back as
        "unbelievable, no such address"?
A.      Look, how am I supposed to know what the hell is the problem with
        your mail server?  I never have any problems getting e-mail.

Q.      Aga! So you are saying that you are a troll! Or even a forger!
A.      What's a troll?

Q.      Troll has two meanings: a singer of sorts, or also  it could be a
        Scandinavian supernatural dwarf.
A.      But what does this have to do with the USENET?

Q.      Nothing at all.  Anyway, I thought that I was supposed to be asking
        the questions...
A.      Right.  Whatever.  What's your point?
Q.      Look,  all I'm trying to figure out is who's been posting fake
        articles and cancelling my messages in scr.
A.      The last one is easy - that's Petersen.  Vlad Pedersen. or vladimip-on-ice

Q.      Ah! So he must be the troll...
A.      No, he is just the asshole.

Q.      Is he a wackos?
A.      No, I told you, he is just an asshole.

Q.      so what's the difference between and a simple asshole and a wackos?
A.      None. (A special USENET FAQ subcommittee on assholes, wackos, kooks 
        and their kinds of ilks is meeting right now to address this exact 

Q.      How can I tell a wackos?
A.      An almost complete list of relevant wackos can be compiled from
        the combination of Verbitsky's Crank and Panikovsky's Assorted
        Nuts sites.  Wackos have that special something, a warped
        singlemindedness on at least one subject.  More  than one
        subject tends to spread your average wackos too thin.  That is
        why multisubject wackos like Qstkovsky are so special.

Q.      But Petersen is completely and singlemindedly nuts about Peter
        Vorobieff.  Kinda like Ignat'ev-Ignat'ev in Aksenov's 'Ostrov Krym'.
A.      The second half of the book was rather dissapointing, especially
        after such a promissing start, and the character of
        Ignat'ev-Ignat'ev like many others was left to dangle ad
        infinitum in limbo at the end of the book.

Q.      But what about Petersen?
A.      How many times do I have to tell you - he is just an asshole.

Q.      I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of personal vandetta
A.      Exactly.

Q.      ...So, anyway how does one fake someone else's identity?
A.      You need to have a root access.

Q.      What's a root access?
A.      It's when you have to dig deeper.

Q.      You are not helping me any.  I wish you'd stop wasting my time.
A.      What do you want from me?

Q.      All you do all day is sit in front of that damn computer all day
        long instead of spending time with your family.  I swear I'm
        going to pull that plug!
A.      This is really beyond the scope of this faq.

If you have any more questions, feel free to e-mail me, Psevdoskude IV or 
Yvonne Zimogorovoj, or send your inquiries to the ever vigilant and equally 
as selflerss freelance list makers like vladimip-on-ice pedersen or drag[on] 
queen vizhnuk.            

                        - The Committee for USENET FAQs
        (Zosq Panikovskaq, Psevdoskuda IV i Yvonne Zimogorova)

Misha Verbitsky.